Gifts from God

Children are gifts from God.

At the moment...my children are the gifts that keep giving :)

Don't get me wrong. My kids are amazing. But at the mention of rest time or, heaven forbid, BEDTIME, the Crown Prince transforms from a confident, outspoken artist, to a dependent, half-starved urchin in need of companionship and sustenance. My independent, passionate Pirate is replaced with a whimpering, terrified little mouse who is scared of her own shadow, not to mention the countless Hello Kitty, Dora, or Frozen shadows in her room! And my carefree, daredevil Bob becomes a fierce "Bob"cat who scratches and claws at anything within arms reach, howling and snarling at the moon (or the mommy as the case may be).

Did someone say "bedtime"?

If I am fortunate enough to emerge from the bowels of the kids' bedrooms conscious, I usually limp to the couch or retreat to my bed licking my wounds and praying desperately that my children will forgive me for turning into a raving lunatic yet again. But typically, I wake up around 11pm, curled up in the fetal position on the hard floor next to Bob's bed, neck aching from being propped precipitously on the oversized Hello Kitty mermaid in lieu of a pillow, elbow throbbing from being bent at an unnatural angle in order to hold Bob's hand through the slats of the toddler bedrail, and thigh bearing the inevitable and telling mark of the Lego embedded in my sleep-deprived flesh.

This endless cycle leaves me exhausted and starved for "me" time. It also makes me CRANKY!

SO cranky I sometimes don't know how to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Ever had that feeling? SO cranky I can't appreciate the sideways smiles of the "Bob"cat, or the loving gifts of artwork from the Crown Prince, or the unprompted "I love you, Mommy" from the Pirate.

Cue the scene from this morning's Sunday pre-church ritual. I declare we are GOING to church! Kids begin to groan. I realize at 8:40 that the kids haven't had a real bath in 2...maybe 3 days (church starts at 10). Husband moves to go take a shower at the moment I mutter, "Well I guess we aren't going after all." Kids rejoice. Husband says, "We can do it," and retreats to the sanctuary of his bathroom. Pirate streaks down the hallway announcing she has poured soap in the tub, but there aren't any bubbles! I clean up the mess, fill the tub, cycle 3 kids through, get clothes ironed, get kids dressed, hand kids off to husband, then try to get myself showered and dressed. Meanwhile, I hear in the living room exclamations of "Who left their yogurt on the table where Bob could reach it?!?!?!" Sigh... Probably the same one who left hand prints on the dress I planned to wear this morning...

Yet somehow we made it to church...on "More Light" Sunday.

I didn't know it was "More Light" Sunday. But the timing couldn't have been more perfect. I listened to affirmations of God's unending, all encompassing, abundant love for ALL people. (More Light Presbyterian congregations work specifically for the full involvement and inclusion of LGBTQ people into the life of the church. For more info visit More Light Presbyterians) Our children's minister read a story to my kiddos equating God's love for His children to that of a mother's love for her child. Even though we may make mistakes, try to turn away, or embrace life in a different or unexpected way, He always loves us...ALL of us, just as a mother always loves her child, no matter his actions. If we believe that we are ALL God's children, then we must believe that He loves ALL of us, and expects us to love ALL His children in the way that He loves us.

Perhaps the part of today's service that stood out to me was how limited our understanding is of God's abundant love. Our guest minister today said that a human trying to describe God was like an oyster trying to describe a ballerina. We just don't have the tools necessary to describe His awesomeness or His abundant love. Our mistake is in trying to limit Him by our limited understanding of how the world works.

Hope was the message of the day. Hope, not for what we see, but for what we don't see. Equality for all. Understanding for all. Love for all.

Maybe even sleep for all?

And those gifts He gave me...well they continue to give. As I sat here writing, wrestling with these words, the Pirate paid me a clandestine visit from quiet time. As I prepared for battle, she reached out her little fist, fingers clasping a treasure, and quietly asked "Mommy, what is this?" It was a tiny pink sequin. After I explained, she gently placed it on my finger and said, "I'm going to give you this sparkle so you will be happy forever."

I will, my sweet Pirate. I will.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
 1 Corinthians 13:13

Love well, my friends.

My three gifts!

                                                                  

The Camping Trip

The funny thing about being a mom is that even when you are at the end of your rope, you think you can't possibly do this "mom thing" for one more minute, and you finally reach escape velocity and have a few precious minutes, hours, or days away...you can't stop thinking about your kids.

I'm on day 3 of my eagerly anticipated, all-expense-paid getaway to the magical land of Bowling Green, Kentucky! Tonight after 7 hours of class and a 2 hour long banquet, I prepared to settle into my luxurious dorm room suite to decompress. Just as I got comfy, a text arrived from my amazing parents who are watching the wild ones for the week. I opened the text to find this...

"The whole gang doing T25"

 

End scene.

 

For the past hour I have been missing these little creatures like mad - thinking about how much I would love to be there watching this hilarity. Brad introduced the kiddos to T25 a few weeks ago, and at first the Pirate was the only one interested in working out with the daddio. The Crown Prince was more interested in using dad's smartphone to monitor the number of steps daddy had taken that day. Bob...well let's just say Bob was getting a fine workout beating the daylights out of Brad and yelling "put it DOWN" every time Brad lifted his arms as he made his way through the video.

 

But as all kids do, as soon as you think you have them figured out, they change the rules. Evidently the Crown Prince had Brad download T25 to my mom's laptop before he dropped them off on Monday, and they have been doing T25 as a tribe EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. this week.

 

I love those crazy kids.

 

The school year can be hectic with little time to spend with the crazies, so the first week of June we ran away from home to embark on our first EVER camping trip. (Confession: I did camp in my neighbor's backyard when I was 7? 8? not sure - but I made it less than 30 minutes before I saw a spider in the tent and fled to the safety of my bedroom.) Naturally, since we'd NEVER been camping before AND we were taking 3 kids under the age of 7 - we chose to do so at the beach...in June.

 

We learned three important lesson very quickly.

 

1. Leave the car running when using your headlights to illuminate your late arrival tent setup. Doing otherwise will "probably" kill the battery on your swagger wagon.

 

2. Remember Rule #1 on Day 2...it still applies.

 

3. Get a bigger tent...and a fan...

 

 

There were many lessons that followed...including...

 

4. Bestow lavish praise on your husband for having the forethought to not only buy a canopy but also bring the laptop (and said laptop charger) fully loaded with strategically chosen animated movies lest the sky should open up in a torrential downpour on Day 3.

 

 

 





But perhaps the two most important lessons I learned as a mom had to do with photography.

5. Hand the camera to someone else and smile!

6. Then put the camera away!

As Directory of Photography and Cinematography in the Hinds-Brown household, I find I'm not in a lot of pictures. I am just as guilty as the next parent of living my life through my camera. I panic - like full out physically reaction - when something "cute" or "funny" happens and I realize I don't have a camera or phone on hand to document the event for posterity. Then I wonder why I can't remember things very well! I have a hard time remembering the Crown Prince's Pre-K graduation, the Pirate's babyhood, or if I fed Bob last week because I spent so much time "recording" them.

While I'm not sure how soon we will be taking another camping trip, I can tell you this - this was the best family vacation we've ever taken. Brad and I laughed like we haven't in years. The kiddos each got some "date" time with Mom and Dad. I watched my wild ones destroy sand cliffs together, plot out adventures through the woods to the bathhouse (always fun...), and laugh themselves silly over a squirrel stealing a pancake off the griddle.

And only one child "may" have ingested a jellyfish.

I will always treasure actually seeing the Crown Prince swim for the first time as he donned his snorkel and paddled around the lagoon. I will cherish the sound of the Pirate's laughter as she ate a "green slime" (?!?!) snow cone on our last day. I am grateful for the memory of Bob's sandy little hand in mine as we walked up the steps to the boardwalk and the gleam in his eye after he chased his first seagull.  It's amazing to see your children respond when you stop asking them to pose for a picture and allow them to just BE with you there by their side.

Only 2 more days until I'm there by their side again. Until then - I think I'll settle into these plush accommodations and enjoy my quiet night. Only 2 days left, after all!

Mindful Mommy 101

It's 7:15 pm on June 23. I am sitting in a dorm room at a week-long teaching workshop...and I finally realize why 35 year olds are called "nontraditional students".

And live in homes of their own.

I LOVE summer - but when you are a teacher, summer does not necessarily mean lounging by the pool, kicking back with beach reading, and sipping lemonade on a porch swing. Summers for teachers mean FINALLY getting your house clean (maybe), attending a few too many professional development sessions (definitely), and if you are really industrious, getting a jump start on planning for the new year.

Unless you also have 3 kiddos at home.

Which I do!!!! 

Summer for this teacher is a whirlwind of excitement mixed with high expectations for magical moments of family togetherness, memory making, and...wait for it...

SLEEP!

Alas. (See photo at left.) By 9am most summer nights I find myself begging my angel turned demon children to PLEASE go to sleep so that I can recover from the day of chasing, diapering, refereeing, and cleaning...or at least go to the bathroom in peace! By the time I crawl into bed (or pass out in the floor next to the pirate's bed), I can't even remember the moments when we laughed hysterically at Bob's grumpy face when I dared to suggest he should not leap from the kitchen table, were marveled by the crown prince's uncanny recreation of a "Minecraft Steve" out of cardstock, tacky glue, and a toothpick, or were rendered speechless when the pirate kissed her brother's latest head wound and brought him a popsicle to chase away the tears (never mind she grabbed two for herself on the way!).

So I'm taking a different approach this summer - and hopefully into the foreseeable future. I want to slow down, be more mindful of the many blessings I have, and take time to treasure my here and now...or at least revel in the hysterically funny, share the unbelievably frustrating, and embrace the overwhelmingly messy but beautiful moments of parenthood.

I invite you to join me in this adventure. I hope you will read my commentary aka "mom-mentary" and pass it along to anyone you think might find it funny, inspiring, or therapeutic. Feel free to share your experiences, too!

After all, isn't it much easier when we know we aren't alone in this world?

Unless you are staying in a dorm. At age 35. Then being alone for a few days doesn't sound so bad after all!